The Wizarding World’s Alternate voice.
We are in the midst of a Ministry cover-up the likes of which we haven’t seen since the times of You Know Who. The Quibbler has interviewed victims, witnesses and experts to find out the truth about The Calamity and what really is happening to our world.
Ministry of Lies
The Calamity is becoming stronger –if one is to believe the Ministry’s Public Service Announcements–. More and more traces of magic have appeared in the Muggle world, threatening to expose our way of living.
But, as our sources tell us, this Calamity is not entirely to blame; and it is not only the Muggle world that is being affected. Once more, it seems the Ministry is trying to manipulate us, and only The Quibbler cares to find the truth.
What is really happening to our world?
Confidential sources have contacted The Quibbler with information no other news outlet (surely by order of the Ministry) is willing to investigate or publish.
According to an anonymous source, an earthquake-like event affecting only the Ministry building occurred late last October.
It is a cover up!
Ministry workers were strictly forbidden from sharing this information with any witch or wizard outside the Ministry. Fortunately, our source could not follow such an order in good conscience, knowing it would put innocents at risk.
‘We, as Ministry workers, have a duty to our citizens.’
While sipping from a warm cup of Calming Drought, our source shared her experience with our editor.
‘There are research areas that often deal with large explosions,’ she told The Quibbler. ‘They often cause the Ministry building to shake and have left a witch or two in St Mungo’s. But this was something entirely different, and it came from Basement Level 4.’
For those not familiar with the Ministry’s floor directory, Basement Level 4 houses the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures.
As you might remember from The Quibbler issue #3397, Basement Level 4 also has a secret, illegal area. This is where perform illegal experimental breeding and creature magical manipulation.
Our source said that an emergency Ministry shut down followed the event. Aurors thoroughly searched every last worker, and the building’s every nook and cranny, for something they refused to identify.
Aurors quickly rounded up Members of the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures from all three divisions. Some have not been seen since.
Apparently, our source assures us, they are currently being unlawfully held at the Ministry Detention Area on Basement Level 10. Aurors have recently blocked the entrance to this level.
The Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures remains shut down. There have been no official statements, but our source has heard rumors of the department´s beasts and creatures all suddenly vanishing into thin air.
Creatures Roaming Free
We have received reports from reputable sources that suggest that some of those same beasts and creatures have appeared in the Muggle world. The Ministry has been so far unable to contain them, and are adamantly unavailable for comments.
The Calamity is everywhere
But it is not only Muggles that have been affected. Another Quibbler source, Mr Mundungus Fletcher, told us that he, too, suffered from the effects of The Calamity and its out-of-control creatures.
Mr Fletcher had just returned to his apartment in Knockturn Alley after bringing some toys to the local Children’s Home. As he sat down to rest, he noticed a salamander, shining an unusually bright red colour, slide down his chimney surrounded by an ever-growing ball of fire.
The salamander, he assured The Quibbler, rolled out of the hearth and onto his carpet, setting it aflame. The creature continued running, too fast for Mr Fletcher to stop it. Soon, it had reduced all of his belongings to ashes.
Aurors arrived at the scene moments after Mr Fletcher did –entirely by chance and not related to him or his home in the least, he assured us. They were unable to stop the fire or save any of Mr Fletcher´s innocuous belongings.
They are not on our side!
Everyone at The Quibbler can see that the Ministry is attempting to cover up whatever happened this past October and is only focused on the wellbeing of Muggles.
Meanwhile, Aurors are holding innocent witches and wizards without clear cause and leaving the rest of us to suffer encounters with these out of control creatures with no hope of help or protection.
The community deserves to know the truth, and The Quibbler has a duty to its readers to uncover that truth, whatever it might be, and shine a light to the issues affecting our world and our way of living.
If you would like to enlist and become a member of the Statute of Secrecy Task Force hand help The Quibbler spread the truth, you can do it here.